Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Be Careful What You Wish For

The yelling the screaming
I can live without
You are only listening to your words
Not mine.

Was everything a ploy
to get what you wanted?
Hmmm makes one wonder

A lot a time spent
Developing a dream
Documents & visions
Scrawled on pieces of paper
Still protected from the outside world

But there are demons
That not even I can fight
Not for you , nor for me
The denial and the resentment
Fuels both of us
though you refuse to see it

I stood by you through the fires of hell
against folks I really shouldn’t have been
trying to defeat
And the sad part was
I always saw your side
But in this last battle
You couldn’t see mine.

I was never the enemy
yet I proudly took all the
bullets of the friendly fire
with honor & pride
But that wasn’t good enough

Not sure where the child we bore
will lay his head
For now I guess he will
float in space of uncertainty

And before you have your
new cheerleaders out on the field
cheering for the not so obvious & obscure
revisit all of it…the Zeros, the pain
the family not there
the day to day battles
everything that mattered
Stomp on that ego and realize
there is more.

Also understand that
the respect you were fighting for
was the same that I was asking for
I was just more humble & respectful
in my demands

As you revisit that day in your head
was it really worth it
One little shot
 when I would have bought bottle
just for you

So when you are ready
To re-nurture the dream
Please come prepared
You want what you want
well so do I
and next I will get my share

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