Thursday, August 18, 2005

Brotha, are you crazy!

Okay I'm a former New Yorker living in Florida who refuses to drive because I am terrified of the cotton heads who can barely see over the steering wheel or the spoiled teens who have no concept of speed. So I take the unreliable Palmtran buses.

Okay unlike New York, men who take public transportation or rides a bike are typically losers. They either have a suspended license, no car, no job and no clue. Only 23% may actually have a legit reason for taking public transportation. These would be:

  1. they live in another county and their vehicles are at the train station in their county
  2. they work for the city, county or state
  3. they are a student
  4. they are new in town
  5. they are a tourist
  6. they are elderly and shouldn't be driving
Anything else, they are losers.
Okay this brotha walk up to me; he had to be about 29-30; his shorts were big and baggy like he was 16 hanging off his butt exposing his tighty whities, his shirt was wrinkled, he was wearing Lugz boots in 97 degree weather and he was chewing his gum like a cow chews cud, and he obviously had no destination.
He walk up to me, which was already a bad move, and says..."hey Miss, how u doin'?"....Alright my first thought was brotha I am hot, I need to get to work and why are you out here in the middle of the day instead of being at a job. But I barely cracked a smile and said. "Alright". My lack of interest didn't scare him away.
He asks "So you want to hang out some time?"
Me "Like where?"
Brotha says, "we can hang at your crib"......Then I said "I doubt my husband would want some dude without a job hanging at our house except my 9 year old and my 12 year old."
Ya think that would have scared him off. Oh no! He's like, " Oh so you are married? How long?
Now I'm really irritated...Why does this guy think I want to talk. "14 years"
He's like, "Wow, that's a long time. You don't sound like you come from here. Where you from?"
"New York"
" How long you been UP here?"
Dumb brotha doesn't know he lives down here. "14 YEARS!"
"Oh so you got married and moved here?"
His dumb azz looks at my right hand where my high school ring is and asks, "So where is your ring?"
I quickly hold up my left fist up to expose my heart shaped ring w/the anniversary ring.
" Oh okay" He smiles and "It was nice talkin to ya"...And he walks away.
That's all I had to do? Hold up my damn fist! I should have did that shit at the beginning, huh!


Anonymous said...

Girl, That is too funny!

Unknown said...


That story is so good, and funny. You ever thought of writing fiction as a pro? Short stories?

Trina Slade-Burks said...

Thank you Brandi & Stacy.

Stacy: I have, but I lack the patience of a writer. I wish this story was fiction.....LOL

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! »