Abandoned

Have you ever  emotionally been going thru something so painful...& you feel alone. Well the one person I confide in disappeared on me... Now I cry alone.

November is never the same

For many of you, November is a great time. It is a time to celebrate family. Thanksgiving is around the corner. Time to celebrate.


Well for many of you who have known me since childhood, November has not been that kind of month for me. You see I lost my mom 33 yrs ago this week. And to make it even more heart turning...I lost my dad 8 years ago this week.


I learned to cope w/it. But what made it a little easier dealing w/the loss of my mother was having my dad call me & just talk to me. You see he never use to through those ridiculous cliches at me about death when it came to my loss like..time heals all wounds or it will get easier to cope with. (NOTE TO ALL:DON'T TELL PEOPLE THIS WHEN THEY LOSE SOMEONE BECAUSE IT ISN'T TRUE)


The first Thanksgiving I had after mommy died, to many was so pitiful. But to Me at 9 was a treat. You see people were in our house everyday...& I needed air...So my dad & I went to the diner on Kingsbridge & Jerome Ave in the Bronx & had Thanksgiving dinner. & I really enjoyed it.


As I got older, especially after my dad died..I became a workaholic...Just so I can not wollow in the grief because the one person who would understand my loss was my dad & he was gone too. Having no siblings wasn't really an issue for me except when it came to this. Because I have had to handle the grief literally by myself. Yes family & friends say they understand.. But honestly, there is no constellation for a 9 year old girl losing her mother.


So..as I begrudgingly get through this week..I ask of you all to have some patience with me. don't take it personally if I am not as cheerful, or answering posts timely like I normally do.


This week is just a rough week...& I need to get thru it the way I need to get thru it...my way.

trust

I was very trusting as a child.
I wanted people to like me.
I wanted a friend.
But the people who I put my trust in,
always seemed to let me down.

Now I am grown,
& I thought things were different.
I learned in the last 6 months
that all that was bullshit.

I just want you to know,
That I am watching you.
I know what you doing.
I know what you are saying
I know you think that everything you are doing
is all secret.

Don't you see I keep my friends close
and my enemies closer.
So watch your back
cuz I don't trust you.

changes for 2Faced

Well the book 2 Faced was a stuggle from day one. My plan was before producing the second book, was to go w/ a different publishing company. I was hoping that by the time I was ready to publish this book, I would have located an agent & a new company....but that was not the case.



I realized I had to self-publish yet again... And the company had upped their prices & upgraded not really to our benefits as the publishers & writers. I also had editting delays and las but not least, computer issues...I felt like the devil literally didn't want this second book to be made.



Also purchasing had gone down on art & book buying as well. The price for the first book was a price I couldn't see charging again...But I could not produce the same size for the cost of the last one...So that being said....to cut cost 30% I had to cut the size of the book 30% as well.



What was not cut was the content, integrity & quality of the poems. I was not going to skimp of that. NO WAY NO HOW....

I want to thank you all who have been very loyal & supportive of all the art & poetry things I do. Especially those who have consistently kept your word. I apologize for being delayed on this...My Oct 26th deadline was not met , & I should have made every attempt to make that happen.



Thank you for standing by me thru this.

Pre-order 2 Faced

Pre-order the book for $20.00(plus shipping) by Nov. 10
(online price$25)

Gift Show October 30th

COMING SOON!!!!!

The final Rant on this topic

I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a family member, an artist, an author, a teacher a mentor, an advocate, business partner to a few, & a business associate to many.


I have worked with many have personally developed some great relationships with people.


Many people think they know me...but only a select few actually do. Those are the ones who have been there w/me thru the trenches. The death of my parents, my graduation, my learning about life, the birth of my children, my wedding, my heart breaks, the creating of my art, the creating process of my book & my book signings, my breakdowns & upsets, my joys & triumphs.







My family & close friends mean the world to me. And though I have a few people in my life who some deem "questionable" ... I know what works for me & my life. If you are in my life, you are for a reason. If you have been eliminated, there is a reason for that too.


Many know me as easy going, but please do not mistake my kindness for weakness.


So for those who think they know me....ask ME first...Not someone else. And if you don't believe what you hear then that's on you. It's not meant for you to know then.

Please do not ask what this in reference to. And for God sake, please don't assume you know. It isn't whether you know where the nature of this is coming from, it is more for future reference.


I hope we have an understanding... thank you for allowing me to rant...







Peace.



It's been real!