For many of you, November is a great time. It is a time to celebrate family. Thanksgiving is around the corner. Time to celebrate.
Well for many of you who have known me since childhood, November has not been that kind of month for me. You see I lost my mom 33 yrs ago this week. And to make it even more heart turning...I lost my dad 8 years ago this week.
I learned to cope w/it. But what made it a little easier dealing w/the loss of my mother was having my dad call me & just talk to me. You see he never use to through those ridiculous cliches at me about death when it came to my loss like..time heals all wounds or it will get easier to cope with. (NOTE TO ALL:DON'T TELL PEOPLE THIS WHEN THEY LOSE SOMEONE BECAUSE IT ISN'T TRUE)
The first Thanksgiving I had after mommy died, to many was so pitiful. But to Me at 9 was a treat. You see people were in our house everyday...& I needed air...So my dad & I went to the diner on Kingsbridge & Jerome Ave in the Bronx & had Thanksgiving dinner. & I really enjoyed it.
As I got older, especially after my dad died..I became a workaholic...Just so I can not wollow in the grief because the one person who would understand my loss was my dad & he was gone too. Having no siblings wasn't really an issue for me except when it came to this. Because I have had to handle the grief literally by myself. Yes family & friends say they understand.. But honestly, there is no constellation for a 9 year old girl losing her mother.
So..as I begrudgingly get through this week..I ask of you all to have some patience with me. don't take it personally if I am not as cheerful, or answering posts timely like I normally do.
This week is just a rough week...& I need to get thru it the way I need to get thru it...my way.